Be a Garden Well Tended
Springtime is around the corner. I have noticed more trees flowering, grass growing taller, and many in my social network are getting their flower beds ready for new growth this year. When I look at my own yard, I see dandelions, an unpruned hedge, weeds in an unkempt flower bed, and splotchy brown spots in the grass. I couldn’t help but make this analogy: We are all living a life where the garden is either well tended or an unkempt and overgrown lot. I could write many excuses as to why I haven’t put on the gardening gloves or picked up the rake/tiller, but I think all those excuses would lead to one simple conclusion, it seems like too much…WORK.
I am sure most of you can resonate with the idea that there are many areas of our lives that are just plain hard. Parenting is hard, work is hard, family relationships are hard, marriage is hard, battling severe health problems is hard. So I’ve noticed more lately when I’ve spent so much of my energy on other hard things, I look at my home landscaping and say, “This is just a hard thing I cannot do right now.” We’ve all been there, and I know if you really take the time to think deeply about it, you can find something hard in your life that just keeps being put off.
Well the focus of my blog today is to provide some simple strategies to tackle those hard things so that you can feel an internal sense that you are a garden that’s well tended:
Set realistic goals for the area you would like to improve. Sign yourself up for smaller, more reasonable action steps that won’t sound intimidating or “too hard” to add to an already busy plate. For myself this will look like, “Don’t aim for the perfect garden, just start with the weeds.”
Identify tools or strategies that are either unavailable or are no longer assisting you with the hard thing at hand. We can certainly feel overwhelmed with a task if we do not have what we need to do it well. If what we usually do is no longer helpful or is the wrong tool for the job, we need to explore creative ways to problem solve and work through difficult matters.
Cultivate a positive mindset. If you are like me and have struggled with internal confidence or doubting your competencies, this may look like practicing positive affirmations (e.g., I can do hard things) or acknowledging the skills and talents you have and using them to your advantage for these new hard tasks (e.g., I know I have good people skills; how can I use this to help me with this new problem?).
Don’t be afraid to get messy. Some of us are carrying hard things about our past or lives that aren’t just hard logistically, but they are incredibly “messy” emotionally. To work through anger, hurt, betrayal, despair, loneliness etc…puts our body and spirit through the ringer, and we can feel so exhausted and beat up. So when your life garden has those stubborn weeds or those deeply rooted plants that are buried deep, lean into courage and your inner strength. We might be covered in dirt, sweat, and at times tears, but with the right tools, support, and courage, we can transform those uprooted weeds/plants into a thriving and prospering life.
If you would like to dive deeper into these skills and how you can implement them into your life, I encourage you to contact True North Counseling & Development at 859-740-7374 to work with a provider who can help guide you through these processes. Knowing the skills and implementing them can be two challenging feats, and we are determined to help you discover what an empowered life can look like for you!